Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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