Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
