He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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