Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
