We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize