Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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