he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
