i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
