Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
