omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He passed out mid-signature
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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