Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
