I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
