When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
