3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize