Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Randomize
