oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
