uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
