You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
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