Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize