yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
