he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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