i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
