But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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