boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
