I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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