whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
