direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize