she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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