I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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