the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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