hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
