we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I can't turn off my feet"
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
