bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
