I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
