I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
