Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
