if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
