I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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