Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
