I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I cannot find my penis.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
