When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize