He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
