Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
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