His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
