I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I wish they made helmets for livers.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
