I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
