I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
