did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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