I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
