youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
