I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
