and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
