This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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