I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize