office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i wish my penis had a tongue
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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