I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Enjoy the penises
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
