Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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