just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
