We named our party play list daddy issues
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
