Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm passing your future prison.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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