I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
