Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
