Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
