OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
