he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
