Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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