I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I lost the right to judge tonight
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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