capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
