happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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