And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
